Jo: Our New Waiting List Manager

This past weekend, One in Four supporter Hannah took on (& smashed) the Dublin Half Marathon. Not only did Hannah beat her set time, but she has raised over €3,000 for One in Four and survivors of child sexual abuse in the process. 

We asked Hannah to write a blog post about her motivation and experience i

We have some very exciting news to share with you. With your help we were able to look at new ways to manage our waiting list to ensure we can meet the increased demand on our services. We are delighted that Jo has joined us as our new waiting list manager. In one of her first tasks she writes to you to let you know a little bit about her motivation for the role.

“I moved to Ireland last year after 25 years working as a social worker in Mental Health Teams in London, Oxfordshire and Italy. I wasn’t looking for a job. I’d taken early retirement from my last post, and was looking forward to living a quiet life growing as much of our food as possible, in a village in Kilkenny where I live with my wife.

But then the Scouting Ireland Abuse Investigations began, and the Commission into the Investigation into Mother and Baby homes was published, yet again I found myself profoundly moved by the terrible stories of the abuse suffered by men, women and children, which were all over the media. As a British social worker with an Irish grandfather, I was only too aware of the way children had suffered disproportionally behind the closed doors of the church, institutions, and families. We were all aware of the Ryan and Murphy Reports in 2009. We all heard the testimony of the Kavanagh sisters.

I’d always tried to work, even within a system obsessed with diagnoses, symptoms and medication which often ignores causes, in a trauma-informed way, but the Irish experience is what, for me, put trauma right in the centre of psychological, psychiatric and sociological problems. And I kept hearing about One in Four, with their vision of ‘an Irish society where children are safe from the threat of sexual harm’.

So when I saw that there was a job for somebody to manage the waiting list and offer short term support to people on it, I felt privileged to find I could put my skill set and experience to good use in the very organisation at the heart of healing Ireland’s hidden trauma.

Of course there are a lot of people on the waiting list. The journey towards healing from Child Sexual Abuse is a long one, and therapy can last for years, so therapy appointments can take a very long time to come up, especially for people with limited availability. I feel honoured to be able to reach out to those right at the beginning of that journey and offer them some care and advice. And I’m aware that lock down brought even more people to seek help. People retriggered, or closed in the house with their abusers, or maybe just having the time to reflect on the horrors of their past.

For some the symptoms are so overwhelming that the best they can hope for at the moment are some coping skills. I’m hoping, when we move into more suitable premises, to start a group for survivors at the beginning of that journey, to teach and share some symptom management skills.

Many are not ready for a group or do not live locally enough. I have contacted all those on the waiting list for individual therapy, with personalised support and crisis plans. It has become clear in the 5 weeks I’ve been with One in Four, that for some people, a point of contact is all they need. Others will need regular support calls, advice, referrals, a listening ear, and crisis support.

And although the waiting is difficult, most people I’ve communicated with understand the reasons for this and are relieved to know someone is there for them whilst they wait, and also grateful for all that One in Four do for individuals, and Irish society.”

Jo Wright

n running for One in Four. Read all about it below.

**Trigger warning: the below includes information about sexual assault that may be triggering for some individuals**

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 Running a Half Marathon For One in Four

Though I’m not very good at running, I’m delighted to have completed the Dublin Half Marathon on September 22nd for One in Four. From advocating for a society that better protects children, to providing counselling services for victims, to helping people through the reporting and criminal justice process, the work the organisation does is extraordinary.

This work matters deeply to me. I was sexually assaulted when I was 8 years old, an event which has had a significant impact on my life. A number of years later, I saw someone from One in Four speaking on the news. I suddenly realised that what had happened to me was not an isolated horror – thousands and thousands of people have had an experience like mine.

Despite the high number of people who have experienced sexual violence in Ireland, there remains significant shame in talking about it. Over the years, I struggled with the weight of this silence. I felt ashamed, even while knowing that I had nothing to be ashamed about.

This silence traps victims further, making it harder to access support that can help you to navigate the ways in which sexual violence impacts your life. The work that One in Four does to dismantle this culture of shame is vital.

After my family, the most important thing that helped me to navigate the trauma of sexual assault was accessing counselling services. I was extremely lucky to be in a financial position to get private counselling, so that I could get help as soon as I realised I needed it.

It’s not a secret that getting mental health support for any reason can be hard in Ireland, and sexual trauma requires specialist care. Thousands of people experience sexual violence and never seek support. The reasons for this are varied, from the cost of private counselling to the inherent difficulty of confronting significant trauma. One in Four provides specialist counselling services for survivors, helping people to manage the impact of sexual violence on their lives. Their services are accessible and safe.

Last year, the man who assaulted me was finally convicted. I still don’t really have the words to describe what this outcome means to me, or how it has felt to have this out in the open without fear.

Engaging with the criminal justice system was not easy but there were a number of factors that helped me. I had the unwavering support of my family and friends throughout. As a lawyer, I broadly knew what to expect from the process and when I was unsure, there was usually someone in my network of friends and colleagues who could explain it.

Most people navigating the justice process don’t have the advantage of being able to call lots of lawyers for free advice. Getting to a point where you feel able to engage with the justice system is difficult enough – the process should not be an additional trauma. One of
the services One in Four provides is support through the reporting process and in court, which does a lot to ease the burden of the justice system on survivors.

Being sexually assaulted as a child has not been the defining moment of my life. Without the right support and care, it could have been. My life is very full. By supporting One in Four, I hope to help others have the same.

Hannah Beresford

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One in Four is sincerely grateful to Hannah for championing One in Four’s work, for her amazing fundraising efforts that will help fuel our work in the months ahead, and for using her voice in sharing her experience.

If you would like to support Hannah’s efforts, you can donate to her page hereTo chat about supporting One in Four in another way, email Nicola at nmacmanus@oneinfour.ie

If you would like more information on One in Four’s therapy or advocacy services, call 01-662 4070 or email info@oneinfour.ie