How to Respond to a Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse
The value of being a good listener is underrated.
If you don’t know what to say, it’s ok to be quiet and let the victim/survivor know you are glad they found the strength to confide in you.
Your responses can make a difference.
Let the victim/survivor know that you believe them and just listen rather than asking questions.
Let them know that you will be there for them now and in the future, that nothing is going to change in your relationship, and that your view of them has not changed.
Avoid suggesting actions, it’s important that the victim/survivor feels in control of what happens next.
The impact of the abuse can be overwhelming for some victim/survivors, so it’s helpful if you can avoid marked displays of shock or rage.
It helps if you can convey that you care, but you are not overwhelmed.
If a victim/survivor is telling you about their experience, it suggests that they already trust you.
Shame can be a debilitating impact of child sexual abuse, so the victim/survivor may be acutely aware of any statements that inadvertently criticise or imply they should have told someone sooner. Understand that disclosure is a big step, it takes some people several decades to overcome the conditioning of the person who abused them and find their voice.
They have done their best.
Victim/survivors have a strength and resilience that others are perhaps lucky enough to never have had to find in themselves, and it’s important not to lose sight of that.
If you need further support please call us on 01 662 4070.
